Dear Professor [name],
My name is [Preferred name], and I will be attending your course [blank] on [days] at [time] this [term]. I am transgender and have not yet legally changed my name. On your roster is my legal name, [Legal name]. I would greatly appreciate it if you refer to me as [Preferred name] and use [pronouns] when referring to me. Thank you for your understanding, and I look forward to starting your course next week.
No. Sorry, but in a formal academic setting, you get referred to by whatever YOUR formal, legal status entitles you to be called, not your made up title. Grow up.
As a person who has had friends outed by their names in public places because they couldn’t yet afford to legally change them
As a person who had to spend a fair amount of money during a time in my life when I was really poor to get my name changed (much less my driver’s license, and later, my UNEXPIRED PASSPORT, so I could travel unmolested like any cis person)
As a person who has had trans students who would have been outed had I not pulled them aside and asked them about preferred names and pronouns
As a trans person who is a member of a group which is systematically and violently oppressed, especially trans women of color, so much so thatliterally hundreds of trans people turn up dead as a result of transphobic violence each year
As a person who lives in fear of transphobic violence, of being outed in a place where I do not have an escape route, or being injured and denied aid (such as medical care due to transphobia)
I am shaking with rage right now. And I have never had to call anyone out in a fandom before. But fuck you. Fuck your insensitive, transphobic garbage.
This is not a fucking game. This is people’s fucking lives. The fact you don’t have enough compassion to simply address people how they want to be addressed — without any consideration about the legal, social, and economic barriers that exist for trans people to change ANY DOCUMENTATION — and the arrogant, ignorant assumption we should “grow up” — tells me a lot about the kind of person you are.